i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
