y did u give ur computer a hand job?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
