I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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