He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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