I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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