i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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