We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
