they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
