im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize