So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
