Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
