So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Randomize
