Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
