Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I accidentally burped into my bong.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
