Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Sex in the backyard? Check.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
