Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
