I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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