it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Verdict: uncircumcised.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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