windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
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