I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
