How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
