Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Randomize