break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
