Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
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