You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize