I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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