Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
