i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Randomize
