I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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