There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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