glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
