omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
