I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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