You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
