It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
