So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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