It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
