Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize