Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Randomize
