Having a random hookup so left but love u
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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