his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
