you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
