just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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