my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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