Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
