I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
