i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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