Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
we're so committed to being not committed
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
