my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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