All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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