it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
