I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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