We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
