Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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