Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
