apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
