I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
