Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
