Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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