never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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