I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
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