I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I just googled if crying burns calories
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize